Why Beautiful Women date Ugly Men

Why do Beautiful Women date Ugly Men? Is a question as old as “Why do beautiful men date ugly women?” Well, we’ve got the answer to that one. Women feel that sexy men date unattractive women for the following reasons: A) She gives good sex  B) She’s an expert on brainwashing, or C) He admires her and thinks she’s sweet *yawn*. The End. That’s it. It dies there. Men, on the other hand, are ten times more clueless about women than what women are about men. We did our research and came across an article written by Relationship Correspondent, Curt Smith of AskMen.com where he dared answer the question hitting the nail right on the head.  He says:

“As long as men keep reasoning that beautiful women date ugly or regular-looking men for their money, they will always miss out on opportunities to meet gorgeous women. Like my father used to say, ‘Son, assumptions are the mother of all screw ups. Never assume anything with women — unless it’s an acrobatic position. All she wants is an honest, trustworthy, fun man who can bring stability into her life.” (AskMen.com)

Smith also states that there are two types of men, the U-Men (Average Joe) and the G-Men (HOT STUD). He advises that the U-Men go for women who are “Rookie Girls.” By Rookie, he means, the Plain Jane who has potential on being a “Super Fox” if only she builds her confidence and fixes herself up. He warns to proceed with caution. After she finds herself and thinks she is finally beautiful, your hard work has potential on paying off for the next bastard, when she feels she could now land a G-Man (the one who probably ignored her before) and leave you, the U-Man, biting the dust.  Smith (we like that guy), also expresses that if you want to get a hot girl, you’ve got to have the qualities of a hot guy, even if you resemble Ron Jeremy more than Brad Pitt. He says you must be, “A smooth talker, Fun, Spontaneous and a Real man.”


Smith is right on the money! He proceeds:

“Believe it or not, beautiful women have a hard time meeting men. The reason being that most men are intimidated by their looks. They think that because she looks good, she must be high maintenance, hard to get, already dating, and snobby. The few men that do approach her are all players who like to play head games just to get into her panties and claim her as a trophy. Some U-men that date beautiful women know this. They know that in most cases, beautiful women are single, fed up of head games and craving for a real man to approach them and desire them for who they are and not solely for their bodies.” (AskMen.com)

YES! He’s correct! We share Smith’s view on this issue. But now we’re going to give it to you raw (just how you like it) from a woman’s perspective. It is vital that men follow Smith’s cues. He’s accurate for the most part. Personally, I’ve met all types of Men, the rich and the poor. Some men like to flaunt the $$$, mula, cream, dinero. That’s a HUGE turn-off! When I stumble upon these kind of guys, I tell them if they’re looking for a prostitute there are plenty of them up on 42nd Street. If you’re one of those guys, women who fall for this trick are empty. If that’s what you like then that’s what you like. Then there’s the regular guy, the U-Man, who chats you up, with respect, and after a few minutes of conversing he then says, “Gee, you are so down-to-earth. I thought I had to be a super rich guy to get to know a girl like you.” What does this mean? He’s FINISHED! That’s also a HUGE turn-off. While women will date poor men with strong qualities, we will not date men with poor confidence who are judgmental.

Guys don’t get discourage. Talk the talk and walk the walk. BUT be yourselves! Choose wisely and observe a woman, study her like an experiment. Yes. There are lots of gold digging female dogs out there and they do give good women a bad name. But most women aren’t that bad. Most women want a man with a good head on their shoulders, someone who’s a good listener (that’s very important) and who is a true friend, he’s got to be funny, optimistic, ambitious, mature and RESPECTFUL. The great SEX doesn’t hurt either (Okay, so that’s uber important!). And know that these rules apply to all women you approach, even those you call “bitches and penny whores,” believe it or not, they have feelings too! Hey, they have fallen for someone some time in their life, that’s probably why they turned out the way they did!

But if you really, really want to know why beautiful women date ugly men, we’re going to tell you. Here’s the SECRET and a small scenario to explain to the MEN as to why:

A gorgeous man spots a gorgeous girl. He immediately thinks, “She’s so hot she’s got to be taken.” He overlooks her. The pretty girl never gets approached. She notices she’s being ignored by a hottie and thinks there’s something wrong with her. She’s clueless and distraught, but she tries to go on her merry way. A few minutes later, a really beastly, ugly-critter looking guy spots the gorgeous girl and he thinks to himself, “This girl is HOT! I’m going to take my chances, another rejection isn’t going to hurt, besides, I feel today is my lucky day!” Ugly guy approaches gorgeous girl. Gorgeous girl is confused as she thinks to herself, “No one really takes the time to get to know me, what the hell, he may be the one, I’ll give it a shot.”


That’s why.    Get over it.


In response to Curt Smith’s  article on “Why do beautiful women date ugly men?” at Askmen.com

73 thoughts on “Why Beautiful Women date Ugly Men

  1. You were right on the money with this one. My girlfriend is gorgeous. I was intimidated when I first met her but she turned out to be the biggest sweetheart. I’m glad I took my chances with her. She doesn’t know it yet but she is my future wife.

    1. Good for you. I wish you a happy life. I think people go to much on looks and not enough on personality.
      Jerry Noble

      1. I agree, Jerry. That’s why the divorce rate is so high. People go strictly on looks, then when they get married they realize that no matter how good looking somebody is, you still have to get along with them for a marriage to work.

      2. You mean MEN go on looks. Women don’t go on looks because men don’t have any looks to speak of. You fat, ugly, worthless Godzillas!

        1. You are correct gave ex girlfriend laptop told to earse it and she saw pictures of women on it and dickens you don’t have certain type. I thought about it she correct. If women catch my eyes that’s the type. It’s good not habing type that way you not boxed in certain image. In guys like me all women have certain type of beauty and each personality type is different. We do like certain types more than others but general long she look neat, independent, enjoying letting man be himself that’s a winner. The winners and that try change your life on first date type wonder why guys don’t call or ask for seconddate.

  2. being an absurdly goodlooking guy i find it hard to date beautiful women as all the lower beings are either constantly trying screw it up or the women decide to be unworthy junk.

    1. I think you are worng. You may be hanging out with thw worng women. or may be your ego is getting in the way. Think about it a bit an be a littlte more honest about what you see in the mirrier.excuise my spelling. I graduated from college but my spelling still suffers.
      Have a happy life and hang in there youwill find your soul mate.

      you will find

  3. following on from the above comment. as a result i decide to pay for sex and beautiful women now. yes “pay” for it. despite being fucking way too handsome. money sure does ward off the dykes and queers.

  4. good luck I think you are on the wrong track but good luck.
    Jerry Noble

    1. i never paid for it per say but i committed adultery and payed for it through two divorcee’s. So in a sense i did pay for it and I am for ever sorry to this day.
      Good luck
      Jerry Noble

  5. beautiful women date ugly men so they can have power over him

  6. Beautiful women date ugly men because they can. Men are much more superficial and are more likely to write off a woman in seconds if she is ugly. We think with the little head 1st all the time. Some of us are smart enough to not listen, but we all think with our penises first. Women actually care what interests us and why we do what we do. Guys don’t really start to think about any of that until after we have seen you naked.
    Sorry ladies but we are dogs

    1. bull! they do it because they want to be in control. Do you honestly believe they do not go for looks, Of course they do, but then their ego which is bigger than their attraction takes over and they end up dating someone for superficial selfish reasons.

    2. @Anonymous, Men are not more superficial than women, it’s just that as a group you don’t look like anything. So there’s nothing for women to choose from except ugly, uglier, and ugliest. There is no ‘handsome’ when it comes to you all. There is no ‘thin’. There is no ‘hair’ (except on your backs & the tops of your too-big feet & toes). Women don’t want to come out and tell you this because you all are violent as well as ugly. Women are scared of getting shot up for being honest so they lie & tell you that you are attractive. It’s all lies, told out of fear. They tell Donald Trump & Rush Limbaugh that they are gorgeous when both look like monsters.

  7. ugh thank you SO MUCH for clarifying this…im a beautiful down to earth female who men just HATE b/c i am pretty– not only od men not approach me but they shun and give me dirty looks or attack or abuse me. Most guys dont think “wow youre so down to earth”…they think…Oh shes beautiful AND down to earth– now i can take advantage of her, play head games with her and use her!! for all the beautiful women who used THEM….its a really sad cycle that doesnt’ end. I’m 33 and have been single all my life and im a really gorgeous girl…not only do ‘hotties’ reject and ignore me but for instance men who come across me insult me or put me down…believe me what that does to your self esteem is atrocious….only the WEIRD ugly guys who are ‘weird’ think they have thsi HUGE chance with me…which makes NO sense…guys who i find repulsive are interested in me or using me…that’s it—total weirdos or even messing with my head. Average or decent looking guys just SHUN me immediately maknig me think that im not good enough even for AVERAGE looking guys…the male species is a disgusting weird one ….ive come to the conclusion men have NO interest in beautiful women and want a homely grotesque fat weird MEAN controlling crazy female…b/c im the TOTAL opposite…beautiful kind sweet nice…the perfect girlfriend/wife but since men have no interest in me….im assuming they want the most flawed disgusting person to exist…tehyre weirdos…

    1. i know what you mean…. average guys always stare at me and never approach me… while hot guys usually approach me but treat me more like a piece of ass, than someone theyd wana get into a rlshp with… in uni guys constanly called me snobby or bitchy cos am.the quiet type, and said i picked who i talked to coz only good lookin guys approached me .. i tend to always date not so good looking guys cz they treat me great and it pisses my bestfriend off(whos a guy by the way) coz he thinks am too fly too be dating ugly guys.. but HEY .. what can you do!!!!! . and like you i get stalked by plenty of wierdozz..those guys who call you up like 8 times a day talkn bout how ur ment to be their future wife and crapp..anyways im single now, and to me looks dosent really matter just need a good, interesting guy who actually cares about me. and the sad part is every guy who is great looking and nice thaT I LIKE never approaches me.. BUT 99% of the time i found out that they like me when it was too late.. my advice learn to approach a guy that u like, instead ov waiting the other way round,…

    2. I just have to respond to this! oh my God, I totally know about this: it’s been driving me crazy. So far, I’m completely invisible by day, but at night, on the weekend, all of a sudden I’m visible and have guys who never even bother looking at me during the day act like I’m the hottest babe evar. But since they’re drunk it doesn’t really count, and I don’t feel flattered.  That and the weird sweat stain in the middle of their t-shirt just makes me think of how rank their crotch must be.

       I know I’m pretty, but the only guys courageous enough to talk to me are the homeless, the married, and the gay, or the bat-shit insane, or potential rapists.  Or else they’re old enough to be my grandpa.  I’m in my mid twenties, I’m educated, slim, athletic, relatively functional, I’m goddamn gorgeous, I’ve made men cry with pleasure in bed (at least I think it was pleasure… that or mommy issues), and still, (sober) straight, non-slimy single guys don’t talk to me.  Unless they’re in customer service.  It does mess with my mind, and then I see these cute guys with the mousiest dowdiest, frumpiest waddling girls who bather on about, I don’t know, bullshit.

       I honestly don’t care if someone is hot or not, I just want someone who is brave, funny, reliable and has at least a yummy medium sized dick. And who like, talks to me. Jesus.  Is that too much to ask?

    3. Are you even serious ??? Why are you attacking guys ? I have a totally different view of how females behave. I can tell you that women that look like shit, think they should be dating a male model. I have been rejected by women that compared with me are just worthless. I am better looking than them, more intelligent, more fun (most women are plain boring), better dressed, … and still these girls think they should get better. I went out yesterday and several women that can’t even compare themselves to me in any possible way, they looked at me with a dirty look that tells me “Don’t look at me, I am too good for you.”.
      Please, for some odd reason women think they are special. The number of attractive girls I see when I go out is and that I would like to meet is like maybe 5 %. The other 95 % is plain ugly. However, if you look around 95 % of women behave like they are the hottest thing on earth.

      I dont want to be only complaining. There were also some women that made strong eye contact with me, but I was too scared to approach them because I have social anxiety. So my negative view about women is partly my own mistake. But majority of women just think they are celebrities and way too important. And that is sickening. These women are the reason why you don’t get approached. You think it’s fun for a guy too get up the courage to approach a woman and then get shot down ? You call these guys weird ? Did it ever occur to you that those guys might actually behave weird because they are the ones putting their ego on the table ? You have any idea how difficult it is for a guy to approach a woman and risk to get rejected ? Why don’t you approach guys ? If you would do it, you would realize why some guys behave weird. I also approached women in a weird way now and then. Am I weird ? Hell no. But my nervousness takes over and I don’t know what to say anymore nor how to behave.

      1. Hey John I am gonna clue you in on something.Do you know the real reason you are striking out and going home crying in your pillow?Confidence.Quit saying these women are pissing you off because they want someone who is confident.They can’t help it it’s on a subconscious level.Lets say you approach this real sexy girl smile introduce yourself stick out your hand and she says”I have a boyfriend.”What do you do?A lot of men will say ok and bow out.Did you know 90% of the time a women does that she is testing you?Keep trying me”O really that’s great so what’s your name?”"I am waiting for him now” “Ok I’ll keep you company until he arrives.”If she get really mad and blows me off I don’t get bitter and think what a b@##$ I say something like”Ok I understand I am like coffee an acquired taste”Then I back off.Now what do you think is going through her head.1That guy had guts to approach me2 He didn’t leave when I shot him down.Women need a strong man not some strike out go home cry in your pillow type.I am in my 40′s with avg looks.I go home alone a lot, but I don’t cry about it.Women can sense that stuff just like if your dating a hot women then lower you standards one night a pick up a 6.Next thing you know the hot women won’t even look at you.Why?Because you lowered your standards and somehow they know.I don’t care don’t believe me I am telling you it’s true.You feel me?All that bitterness is poison.A strong man does not have to bash women or call them names.I am not saying there are not some mean women out there.Most women are good hearted people just like us.Think of it this way every rejection is one step closer to her.Don’t worry ladies there are still good men looking for you to sweep you off your feet.Sooner or latter the roulette wheel stops on double 00 and you win!I got to go.I just got laid off, and I am running to the store to by some clothes and then looking for her.Come and get me come and get me that’s what I keep hearing what about you?Keith

    4. I think your just some fat ugly chick trolling on the web.

    5. WOW Your just what I am looking for.Now I am a avg guy, but women tell me I have pretty blue eyes and a nice smile.I have been rejected by a lot of women, but I don’t care.It’s their loss.I make up for my looks by being strong confident and funny.If I get 1 out of 10 fine.I end up with a great partner and friend, and let the relationship play out.Keep your head up, and look at it this way.So what the really hot guys or avg as you say wont give you the time of day.They are weak.It’s their fault.Not yours.Do you really want them anyway?If you really as sweet and kind as you say you’ll land that confident man that will sweep you away,and pretty boy jackass can go home alone!Not all women are gold diggers just like all men aren’t jackasses.Where ever I go if I see someone I like I go up ,and talk to her.I don’t wait for the right moment I make it.Don’t worry you’ll find him, and when you do think of me.Let us know so I can say told ya so.Keith

  8. I just posted as ‘hey’ and to add to this…as a beautiful woman i literally have to FIGHT men…no not fight men off– FIGHT men as they hurl insults at me 24/7…i almost cant come across a male who doesnt put me down in some form. Ive even had fat guys make fun of me– one guy after a date was mocking me and said “i bet u cant even get laid hahaha”!! im thinkign…wait a second.. im a HOT beautiful girl…youre a FAT weird guy—wtf is going on here?? this is crazy…men just make fun of me…while they are kissing up to some really mean obnoxious ugly fat woman who has no personality no looks and is a total jerk…something really weird is going on but men are weird and suck and have literally dismissed me b/c im beautiful…and this isnt just oen or two guys– this is hundreds and hundreds of guys…all i get are “youre so beautiful…im sure youre tired of hearing that”… thats it..never an interest in going out with me…never dating…just weirdos wanting to get into my pants..males wanting to mentally torture me nothing else. The ONLY guy i dated—believe it or not– was OBSESSED with me and raved on how hot i was…im the hottest thing he’s ever seen…im so hot…yet he NEVER had sex with me EVER…it was soo crazy…he didnt want to be with me have sex with me– he just wanted to USE me as an EGO boost so in his mind he can think he has this ‘trophy hot girl’ hes controlling mostly long distance. For being a beautiful woman all ive gotten is NO SEX and crazy psycho males wanting to control me long distance—its so crazy and weird…im thinking…that has to be the worst–males who want no sex with you and just to use u to mentally control—most guys say to me “youre TOO beautiful” ie so we just torture u for fun…actually im just outcasted and branded by almost EVERYONE just because im pretty…its so weird but this society sucks…

    1. Be careful with those men who try to put your self-esteem down in order to elevate theirs. Avoid them.


    2. And you are not giving any signals saying you are superior to them, with a snobby attitude?
      a man could counteract it by being obnoxious to save his ego…

      1. That’s really pathetic then, on the part of the guy. It says a lot more about his need to protect his oh-so-fragile ego than it does about a woman’s so-called “snobby” attitude.   I think beautiful women build up a “snobby” wall to protect herself, really. (from insults, from predators, etc).  Shyness and being uncomfortable can also be misinterpreted as being “snobby”, too. And: women act “snobby” to me, and I’m another woman.  To “protect my ego” I just ignore it, chalk it up to her being competitive with me or whatever issues she’s dealing with and … go along with my day. 

  9. beautiful women date ugly men for the reasons listed in this article perfectly– everyone else ignores or dismisses them so it’s all they have…the ugly weird men who are clueless and ignorant enough to approach them…its all they can get…trust me…i know firsthand…however ive yet to settle for one of those weirdos…i’ll just stay single until i can meet a non insecure non jerk normal guy who isnt going to put me down b/c im pretty…

    1. Hey Hot Woman, Id like to say I feel your pain, but that’s just BULL-SH*T!! In my humble opinion….very attractive women only go for the ugly guy because they dont want compete with a good looking guy. The last thing they want is other women looking at their man, complimenting him and telling her how attractive he is. Most good looking women have insecurity issues and they want all of the attention on “them” hence they go for the guy whose looks are less to be desired.

      Im sorry but it’s the truth, I’m an attractive guy I take care of myself, great personality, I treat people with the most respect, and when I approach attractive looking women like “U” U girls immediately start with the “player” bullsh*t and “Oh U have soooo many women and oh U are soooo good looking” etc.

      So again Im not trying to be mean, but as an attractive man (attractive on the inside as well as the outside) It’s frustrating somewhat annoying when I see attractive women on tv, talk shows, blogs talking this “Oh I cant find a date, blah blah blah”

      1. Hey JD, it is uncool to generalize. However, it is great that you are attractive in the inside as well since outer beauty is ephemeral. :)

    2. @Hot Woman, men only come in 2 kinds: Chimps & Godzillas. Handsome, intelligent, THIN, men don’t exist. They exist in children’s fables. Have you seen the movies called GREMLINS & CRITTERS? Critters are covered with hair & have sharp yellow teeth. That’s how men look.

      1. @hotwomen-you know good looking guys do go after al types but once we go beyond the look and personality some women aren’t worth time. Women forget I spend the good and bad days with them  Women should remember sooner or later we all get old but mess up attitude have you spending nights by yourself. Some chicks have issues beyond relationship. 

  10. Hey Hot Woman! Thanks for sharing your comments. Stay beautiful and the right one will come along, am not just saying that. I agree “some” men can be foolish and portray ALL attractive women as shallow or gold diggers, especially if they have had a bad experience, but these “types” of men you do NOT need in your life. A REAL MATURE man will know how to read a woman well and VALUE her.

    I enjoy reading all sorts of books, I have to say Sherry Argov’s “Why Men Love Bitches” is absolutely funny. These are some of her quotes:

    “You can tell how much someone respects you by how much he respects your opinion. If he doesn’t respect your opinion, he won’t respect you.” ― Sherry Argov

    “Whenever you are too worried about someone else’s approval, that person loses respect for you.” ― Sherry Argov

    “Bitch (noun): A woman who won’t bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone else’s opinion – be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, it’s just one person’s opinion; therefore, it’s of NO real importance. She doesn’t try to live up to anyone else’s standards – only her own. Because of this, she relates to a man very differently.”
    ― Sherry Argov

    “Truly powerful people don’t explain why they want respect. They simply don’t engage someone who doesn’t give it to them.”
    -Sherry Argov

    If you have time, do read another article I wrote titled, “Women Need to Love themselves More”: http://fashaddix.com/2010/09/women-need-to-love-themselves-more-fall-2010/

    Hang in there beautiful and stay true to you, the ONLY opinion that should matter at the end of the day is the one you have of yourself!


  11. it sucks being gorgeus because men think us women are a piece of hot ass ,although i am but anyway ,i deserve all times of respect because i know how to keep a man but sometimes us women have to compromise

    1. OK. I am getting really angry now with all the females here. Do you even realize how ridiculous you are ? I read that “confidence” is high on your desire list. This is a recipe for unhappynes. Why ? The guys that value you for who you are, are the guys that lack confidence. The confident guys are the ones that are used to approach women and have casual sex with lots of them. You want a guy that values you for who you are and that is confident ? Good luck finding that guy. You know what lack of confidence says ? It actually says that these guys are the ones that have morals. These are the guys that would value you for who you are. These are the guys that care for you and others. It’s because they care, that they are shy. They don’t want to disturb people; they don’t want to come over as sex addicts to women. Their parents thought them to have respect for women. That’s why they don’t approach you.

      I am shy too. I don’t want to have sex with many women. I want to find 1 decent woman that I like, not only her beauty but also her personality. She doesn’t have to be the most beautiful in the world. Just an average decent looking woman that is friendly, nice and not shallow. When I am with a woman I like, I don’t have the urge to cheat on her with other women; not even better looking women. I don’t care in jumping from woman to woman. And I am not the only guy like this. Due to my shyness with women, I came upon PUA in my local region. I met other guys just like me. And now we are trying to get more confident in order to approach women and be CONFIDENT around them. You have any idea how hard this is for us ? On several occasions we returned home crying. Once I even cried in a disco because I got help from a dating coach that forced me to approach women but I just couldn’t get myself to do so. How do you think we feel when we approach like 20 women and get blown out half of the time and no succes with the other 10 ? You think men are creatures without emotions that like to get rejected ?
      Majority of confident guys are confident in social settings because they lack any kind of social programming. In other words, they are not educated and have no morals. That’s why they are perverts. And these are the ones that approach you. And I think it is very unrespectful towards men in general that you base your opinion on men as a whole, on this small subset of men that approach you. Men are not shallow sleezebags. Men are not creatures that just want to have sex with women. Men are not a bunch if cheaters. But the men you are attracted to … those are sleezebags.

  12. this is without a doubt, so very much TRUE. it now seems that the very UGLY LOOK is in. it is very bad enough that women today are going for guys with money, and now this. then you have the women that are FILTHY WHORES, and will go with as many men at one time to please their sorry ASS. either way, us good looking guys seem to lose.

  13. I’m a beautiful girl and my bf is not I’m with him because me has a nice personality and he treats me right. I wish he were more confident it was hard getting him to date me because of my looks.

    1. consider yourself very lucky, and looks to you does not matter. there are many of us good straight men that can’t seem to meet the right woman for us now. because we seem to meet the ones that are so very nasty to talk too, and many of them have such an ATTITUDE PROBLEM today. as long as both of you are very HAPPY, that is all that matters. GOOD LUCK.

  14. am a beautiful confident woman.. yes a lot of guys are intimidated by me, and yes sometimes you grt steriotyped by all sorts of people ( not just men) who have this pre-conceived image of what they think you are.,,,in my opinion,, when your confident and beautiful and you know it your gonna go through a lot of dissapointing men to didint match up to what you were looking for.. and at the end of the day it all comes up to, trying to get somebody who treats you like good, irrespective of whether they are hot or not. most time ugly guys are so happy to have a great looking girl, that they treat her like a queen cause they know they might never get someone like her .. while hot guys take you for granted cos they know they can get antha you at the blink of an eye.. trust me ive dated a lot of hot guys and the day we broke up.. they always acted like i wasnt sh*t…and the next day i was replaced by someone else .. one of my exes even had the nerve to tell me ” that i needed to kiss his ass more and be grateful h cause every girl wanted him”, … (but they always came running back EVENTUALLY.. wen they realise u were actuali a great girlfriend).. while when i dated average looking guys, when we were at the verge of breaking up, they always fought really hard to keep me, cause they knew anatha guy would want me, the minute i left them.. but thats just my experience.. no offense to all you great hot guys out there, cause i have gorgeous friends who treat their girlfriends with respect . .

  15. I LOVE THIS ARTICLE! I was up crying all night because I have the hardest time dating. Everyone is always telling me how stunning and gorgeous I am yet I am the most single woman I know, lol. MEN NEVER APPROACH ME! They just stare at me, that is it! All of my female friends are always complimenting me telling me how they wish they had a body like mine or how everything about my looks is perfect, they tell me Im so lucky but if only they knew how lonely I feel on the inside. They all have boyfriends too. Every time I go on a date with a guy they say “Man you are so much cooler and nicer than I thought you would be” I hate that! Men also feel so insecure with me and it makes the relationships more difficult. The only men who approach me are arrogant womanizers and weirdos. Hell more hobos hit on me than decent men, lol. I’m a nice, smart, and fun girl, I just want a normal guy to see that too. I guess if I were more average looking I would have a wonderful boyfriend too and if i was average looking, men wouldn’t be so judgmental or scared to talk to me. I like being pretty and all but at the same time its a very lonely life.

  16. Hi Alexia! No need to be crying. You are smart, beautiful and have a great body. What more can you ask for? Loneliness is what you make of it! So what all of your friends have boyfriends it doesn’t mean they are happy in their relationships! So many people rush into things, settle, and they are unhappy. I tell you where us women go wrong. Everyone needs someone, but we cannot live life waiting for “the one.” Really, there are so many good and interesting men out there. Go out, socialize, meet new people. Attend social events, go to church, become part of a charity, concentrate on taking more classes whether it is at a college or culinary school for a cooking course. When you focus on other interests it is when the right man will take interest in you. We cannot love someone else more than what we love ourselves. Learn to love yourself and say, “Hey, I am the whole package, and I am willing to love a man with all of my heart without forgetting about me. And I will not settle for crumbs when I can have the WHOLE PIE!” Now my dear men reading this, a man who has it all is the man who values a woman! It does NOT have to be monetarily, RESPECT and tell your woman beautiful things, remember, as the Spanish saying goes, “Men fall in love through their eyes and women through their ears!”



  17. Very interesting analysis. It reminds me of a very interesting article titled the Carol Syndrome written by a math professor somewhere in Europe. You do need to realize though that from a guy’s point of view too, rejection isn’t pretty. If the girl is really beautiful and (statistically likely) haughty, it doesn’t help with the self confidence of the guy. It is hard to generalize of course

  18.           Dumb topic really, few good points but REALLy DUMB… Especially saying that men are clueless … wtf sexist much?    Being female or male has NOTHING to do with it… Beautiful people will date ugly ducklings for the sheer thought “their is no way they are going to cheat on all this” or “Sorry sap , I am going to build you up and make you believe you can get all this…then I am going to suck you dry”   Both sexist do this, Not everybody does this but their really is no such thing as one sex doing it more then the other.

                 Pretty people also gang up against their ugly counterparts psychologically… Women will get impregnated by a attractive male …knowing it is his.. she will try to pin the baby on a inferior male.    Men will protect attractive women  generally .   But the ugly people do not get these benefits.. Mother nature insured that pretty people populate and uglys slave after them sry it is called life… Look at how all the female ants must slave after their genetically superior sister “queen”.. all the other sister ants must slave after her,   If your genes are not a success… then at least support my best    -basic quote of mother nature- … 

  19. It’s not just me then! I’m 22 and I’ve never had a boyfriend… the thing is… men tell me I’m pretty, beautiful, lovely, gorgeous blah blah …(not like you can believe everything they say), but not even one of them has tried to approached me… so I’m starting to think that there must be something wrong with me. I know pretty enough, but I still have confidence issues and I’m really shy… so maybe I give the wrong impression and they think I’m a total bitch or something… but how can they know, if they don’t even try to talk to me!? They have courage to ogle you and tell you things (specially if they are with their friends) like you are just going to turn around and hand over your phone number if they give you a flattering compliment or a cheap pickup line. When the truth is that it make us feel uncomfortable (well some woman feel that way) and make us think they are jerks…

    Well I guess is their lost because I would be the perfect girlfriend. I like sports, action and scary movies, I love video games and cooking, but most importantly I absolutely HATE to go shopping LOL (oh I don’t like jewelry either =P )

  20. Hello Dawn,

    I know this sounds “cliché” but the right one will come along and boy is he going to get lucky with a girl who’s beautiful, cooks, and loves sports!
    I can’t even fry an egg and my favorite sport is shopping!

    You will find him. I had a psychology professor who said women mature around age 50 and that men mature…. NEVER. *lol*

    Don’t know your faith, but a little prayer won’t hurt ;)

  21. I just wish that it was easier to figure out when a person likes you, regardless of their looks. Yeah, there are some tell-tale signs, but they can also be a coincidence. Call me crazy, but I think that the language of love (meaning, how people talk to one another to build attraction) is quite different from what it used to be. There is so much emphasis on being confident and this unbelievable standard for perfection. I think that most men tend to lose their confidence because of successive failures or rejections. That’s how it has played out for me. It’s like sometimes people can be so cruel, even when they are being nice…and that is what hurts even more. I’m trying my hardest not to seek others approval, but I think that the difference between me and other people, is that i make it obvious. Everyone seeks some sort of approval, that is how you climb the ladder, so to speak. I suppose it is just being more covert about it that gets you better results. Like trying to act as if you don’t care what others think. That is kind of dumb if you ask me, but it seems to work with the opposite sex. I just wish that I could be myself, and not have to act like an Alpha male, just to get the approval of a beautiful woman. Truth is, it doesn’t matter what a guy looks like so much, as long as he exhibits the traits of a dominant male, and is caring, though not overbearing or needy. Case closed.

  22. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I’ve dated beautiful, and good-looking women. But, what is “beautiful” in my eyes might not do anything for another guy.

    Anyways, I can totally understand what you mean Michael. I get looks from many good looking women but I don’t always approach them. Here’s a typical situation I may experience……..

    Very good-looking woman happens to be out. We cross paths in say…a laundromat… or some other public place. I’ll say “hi” or something, as we pass each other. I’ll catch the woman out of the corner of my eye trying to get a “quick look” at me, so I’ll turn to make eye contact, and immediately she’ll look away. We might be the only two in a given area, so she’s not glancing at someone else. She might catch a quick glance another 2, 3, or 4 times. At that point, (for me) it becomes very uncomfortable. I was kind enough to look the woman in the eyes, smile, and say “hi”, and she may not indicate interest one way or the other, but obviously, she keeps trying to steal a look.

    WHY do some women play the game of “looking away” when the guy catches them staring, or catching a quick glance at them? What am I supposed to say…” “Excuse me, I noticed you keep glancing at me, want to go out for coffee”? LOL!

    Here’s another odd situation: I was at the viewing of one of my friends’ relatives. There were some beautiful women there that kept looking, and staring at *me* again & again, but they never came up and introduced themselves. I didn’t attend the viewing to try and score a date, so I wasn’t prepared to go out and mingle, however, I would have totally talked to any of them, had even 1 approached me.

    Perhaps I’ll never understand why women play the “hide and look” game. If I like a woman and want to introduce myself, I’ll usually try with a passing “hi” and study the woman’s body language , or, I’ll see if she returns my “hi”. This doesn’t always work, but it gives me a fairly accurate gauge if I should then attempt an approach. This method seems “logical” to me. C’mon ladies…if you caught a guy staring, or trying to catch a quick glance at you *repeatedly*, wouldn’t you think the guy was a creep if they looked away every time your eyes met? Must be a fair share of creepy women out there!

    The only piece of information I have to go on, is from a friend (who’s a woman) and says that’s the method a lot of women use when trying to meet a guy they are shy or intimidated to approach. This just makes no sense to me! Can I get a womans’ perspective on this?

  23. DIM, here’s my perspective based on my own experience. If a guy glances at me, and I glance back *to see if I like what I see* and I don’t like what I see, I turn away. However, if I find him attractive, I will smile and wave. I’m considerate. I know it takes lots of courage for a man to approach a woman with the possibility of being rejected, so I appreciate the effort and make him feel comfortable. If the interest is not there, I just turn away. So if you like someone make sure she’s actually interested. 

    Women can be shy, they expect the man to be the aggressor. And do you know why? Because many men complain when women are too aggressive. So we allow the men to do the pursuing. Just be casual, tell her you think she’s very beautiful, give her your name, ask if she’s taken, and give her your business card or number she can dial it on her cell phone, call you, store the number, boom… modern technology.

    Be careful with the type of women you approach, if she’s immature, she will behave as such, and if she’s not, she will find a tactful way to let you know if she wants to get to know you or if she doesn’t.

  24. I know this may sound naive but what if she just genuinely likes him? And he’s not taking advantage of the fact that shes beautiful and likes her back? So they date…I don’t see the point in putting so much focus on this type of relationship. So what if one is less attractive than the other…you people must be baffled by what unattractive couples find in each other then….

  25. my name is thomas and i’m the happiest married man alive with my second wife, the first one was out of the twilight zone and I’m grateful I got off without a scratch. gorgeous women are the lonliest out there due their attractive a most men won’t approach them but I’ve never been afraid when I was single to approach them for their humans and have feelings and I’ve had probably at least 10 drop dead gorgeous girlfriends in my life prior to my first marriage. between first and second marriage I didn’t date any woman until I meet my current wife. god send her to me.

  26. WOW!! I gotta say, I agree with your analyzation…I’m an “attractive” woman and am so frustrated with myself!! I tend to date more “ugly” men than attractive men…mainly because I have found that attractive guys are more likely to be players. Although I trust and have more fun and stability with non-attractive men, the physical chemistry is usually missing and I feel so shallow….

    I was in search of articles to help overcome this feeling of shallowness and to help relax and enjoy all aspects of our relationship so any recommendations would be great!!

  27. LRH, I know some handsome men who are nice and many unattractive men that are jerks. If you are attracted to a man, give it a shot. In the end, it comes down to personality. I’ve turned down some men regardless of looks just because there was NO chemistry whatsoever. It all comes down to what is it that you want? What are you looking for in a man? Don’t tell me, just know yourself and what you want and take your time. Many people nowadays settle or give up, don’t be one of those people. Make friends with guys first, analyze them, and after getting to know them, know if to proceed or head towards another direction.

  28. much more power to the guys that have so much luck like that, and us good looking guys can’t seem to meet a good woman today to begin with. with so many women nowadays that have an attitude problem and think that they are all that, especially when they are looking for men with a very large bank account, that certainly will make it much harder.

  29. it is very sad today that the women have changed over the years, and years ago meeting women was certainly much more easier than today since much more women seem to go after the ugly men. looks should not matter at all anyway, and if many women would know how to accept a man for who he is with a great personality, that would be good. many women nowadays seem to want a man with a very large bank account, ugly or not. and so many women these days have such a very bad attitude problem, and think that they are all that which makes it worse. so meeting a good woman for many of us very serious men is very hard because of the games that so many women are playing today, and many of you need to certainly grow up.

  30. What letter would you give for the guy who gets a girl drunk, waits for her to pass, out, and then has sex with her and when she wakes up she is too afraid to do anything?

    1. To me that sounds like rape, she’s not conscious to consent. I would definitely report a person like that. I know women who are married and their husbands have sex with them when they’re asleep. They wake up to that. I don’t see why they stay in such relationships. It doesn’t make sense to me.

  31. An attractive is more happier when she’s in a relationship with an average looking man because an average looking man is less likely to cheat on his wife or gigirlfriend than an attractive man. They make better husbands. Attractive men in the othother hand, I stay far away from them because most them are either players, womanizers or gay. When you’re in love it’s not about looks, it’s about the personality….

  32. I tried and was rejected 3, 583 times until I couldn’t take it anymore. I started right after my divorce and left Boston, Ma.and traveled west until I ended up in Los Angeles, Ca. I searched  and tried to talk to every beautiful woman that  I thought was beautiful but found  out  they where ugly. It takes a very strong man to get up and keep trying and trying after being turned down so many times. It gotten to the point that I thought that something was wrong with me. This happened from 1990 to  2011. I finally had enough and settled because I was getting older and didn’t want  to be alone. I was raised to treat a woman with respect. The same way I wanted to be treated. But was rejected for not having the right car, home, job, education, swagger, clothes. Every man know matter  what his situation in life wants to go through this. And  the beautiiful women that says they would date or marry a regular blue collar man is lying. I now live in  Van Nuys, Ca. 

    1. that is the very good reason why many women are just so Rotten nowadays, and they are nothing like the Real Good Women that existed years ago when it was much easier meeting a good woman like our Mom’s were. A very good example that our parents and grandparents had very long marriages, and marriage today doesn’t last that long at all. I really wish that i had been born many years sooner myself since women were certainly much more different and much easier to meet, and many of us men would had been able to have met the right good woman to settle down with. today there are just too many Very High Maintenance Woman out there that want the best, and will not settle for Less. Very Obvious why many of us men can’t meet a Decent Woman anymore today, and we’re Not to Blame at all. and now with so much more Gay Women Today, well that certainly makes it worse. and even the Straight Women are Bi as well. Very Sad.

  33. Sorry to hear Marcius! Perhaps the women you approached were superficial? Have never been to the City of Angels, but will soon to see what’s the ambience like over there.

  34. Omg this is just-this just explains everything! People call me pretty and guys would stare at me, but none would ever approach me, the ones that do are I suppose average joes, and I just appreciate it so much that I date them!
    It’s really bad on my self-esteem though, girls that only heard about me would make up rumours about me and judge me on my natural posture and gait that guys compliment me on (arched back, hourglass, slight wiggle).
    I really liked this guy that I caught staring at me alot, and when he had a choice between me and an average girl, he chose her. :< The cute guys would try to get in my pants immediately, I'm only 16 and I get approached by more middle aged men than highschoolers.
    I do admit I'm dumber than most girls though, in sense of logic. x.x

  35. I Dnt know how to begin…. life is hard to understand….I am just a simple guy,cool hearted and jolly… Iam huge but everyone loves to b my friend…. Iam ugly I think and a bit fat…. I never get the girl I want ….. I Dnt know how I should get a beautiful good girl…. can you help……

    1. Hello there mister! You’re the reason why I started this website! Let’s start out with the awesome things you said about yourself:

      1. I am a simple guy. (Great, because women are complex characters! *I can say that… I’m a woman!*)
      2. Cool hearted (Another point for you my friend!)
      3. Jolly… (Awesome! You know how many people are sad in this world?!)
      4. Everyone loves to b my friend… (Um, hellloooo?! Need I say more? Most women want to start out being friends with a guy to make sure he is in for the long-run!

      So you feel that you’re ugly because you are as you say “fat.” I say SO WHAT?! I have this extremely gorgeous friend and her boyfriend is pretty heavy and she loves him deeeeeeaaaaaaarly! Some women are shallow, but many will not always go for looks believe it or not. Personally, I consider myself a beautiful woman (do pardon my modesty) and I don’t like extremely thin guys! I like a man with meat on his bones. Here’s my problem with obesity… not saying that you are, I worry about health more than about looks. You need to take care of yourself. That’s most important. I strongly believe that you MUST fix what you don’t like about you before getting in a relationship. You need to eat healthy, exercise, and come to that point in your life where you will feel so much better about yourself that nothing no one says or do will be able to bring you down. You must have confidence in your abilities, looks, and intelligence.

      I honestly think the problem with you is that you’re lacking assurance because I know so many unsightly men UGLY both inside and out and they still get all the girls… I am flabbergasted at how astounding that is to me! They are mean! But in those cases, the women dating them are the ones who look great in their exterior but need to work in their interior. And you don’t want an insecure chickadee by your side. You need a real confident good looking woman because darn it… you deserve it!

      I don’t know anonymous, you have so much good qualities that when you do decide to get fit… and just gain that bit of confidence you need, all types of women won’t be able to get off of you!

      Get’em SEXY, I’m on your side tiger! Grrr… ;)

  36. Well this article is just perception. I talk to beautiful women constantly and I am a handsome young male. The real reason is this. They’re some women who feel like they dont deserve a handsome man because of their self esteem issues. So in reality if an ugly man gets this type of woman (beautiful) she is actually a low quality woman. But he do’esn’care. He’s just happy that she is pretty.

  37. This is going to be long and dry, but I felt that I had to say this.

    In my youth, a I took this quote to heart.

    “Make yourself an honest man, and be sure that there is one less rascal in the world” – thomas carlyle.

    That led me down a path of character. I try to better myself in the virtues of wisdom, justice, temperance, fortitude, humanity, and transcendence.

    But it seems that girls don’t want this sort of man anymore. I’ve been told that I’m too boring and what not and told not to think so much. So then I have a conflict of information. I read that girls want a honest, smart man, but in reality, I get passed up for more fun guys.

    Frustrated and infuriated, I’m on the path to give up on women completely and accept a life of a confirmed bachelor and prostitutes. And the numbers of men who are giving up on relationships are growing. The good men are tired and leaving. (an example is the herbivore men in japan, and mgtow)

    Desperate to search for answers, I found another quote. This time by the famous nurse, Florence Nightingale.

    “I have read half your book thro’ and I am immensely charmed by it. But some things I disagree with and more I do not understand. This does not apply to the characters, but to your conclusions, e.g. you say “women are more sympathetic than men.” Now if I were to write a book out of my experience I should begin Women have no sympathy. Yours is the tradition. Mine is the conviction of experience. I have never found one woman who has altered her life by one iota for me or my opinions. Now look at my experience of men. A statesman, past middle age, absorbed in politics for a quarter of a century, out of sympathy with me, remodels his whole life and policy — learns a science the driest, the most technical, the most difficult, that of administration, as far as it concerns the lives of men, — not, as I learnt it, in the field from stirring experience, but by writing dry regulations in a London room by my sofa with me. This is what I call real sympathy.”

    I was shocked, and later found truth in this. My faith in women is failing.

    Then I came to read a book “The Polygamous Sex” by Esther Vilar. It’s not for the faint of heart, but it is about how men are forced to be polygamous.

    She starts by saying that animals have 3 basic drives/instincts. Self preservation, nurturing their young, and sexual reproduction. The self preservation drive doesn’t involve two people. But the other two does.

    The male drive for nurturing is very strong. The nurturing drive is triggered by 3 things. 1. mental inferiority, 2. physical inferiority, 3 resemblance to the man. If a woman acts dumb, and acts weak, but likes what he likes, this triggers the man’s nurturing instinct and is expressed in offering protection, security and provision. While women are aware of this and use it to manipulate men, this should only be reserved to children. But as it is happening, the woman then becomes the “child-wife”. I see this everywhere, including myself. If I see a cute girl who is meek and likes my interests (or at least faking it), I feel myself wanting to offer her protection from clubs, buying her food, and guiding her in her life. You can see this in the laws which are very anti-male (thank you feminism).

    But the other is the sexual partner. One who is intellectually similar, physically similar (she can open her own jars), but sexually very apart. Instead of everyone rooting for ‘equality’, the women are feminine, and the men are masculine. But, femininity and masculinity are choices. One must choose to grow up, but many do not because you can get your cookies without working to improve. So why bother working more than is needed?

    If one asks “who gets the most cookies between the child-wife and the sexual partner?” The answer is the child-wife.

    While it may seem that my faith in women went down a notch, it actually gave me some hope. It provided me a way to separate what is it I want. So, I went into the world and tried to find my sexual partner. Results? I cannot find any available. They are all in the child-wife role.

    Is it just me? Could I just be looking in the wrong places?

    When I read this article, I remembered another quote “If your life is too serious, then you need a bigger dream. All the big stuff suddenly seems so small”.

    I was shooting for the average girl. And as my confidence waned, the lower class of girl. There, the truth was revealed to me “The worst snobs are the lower middle class”. I was loosing ground and life got worse.

    I needed to dream bigger. I needed to find a better sort of woman. Perhaps even the most beautiful one I can find and see what the climate is like. This article and the comments most definitely helps as it provides personl testimonials to it’s validity. I have regained some hope.

    I have made a decision to leave behind the middle and lower tier of girls, and go for the beautiful ones. I think I went for the middle and lower because I thought they might be easier. Yes, it is true that it was easier to get with them, but harder to be with. Flip that around, the beautiful woman will be harder to get, but easier to live with (my hypothesis). The only thing that is stopping me is the fear/intimidation. Another quote: “If it doesn’t scare your pants off, it’s probably not worth doing”

    For those that are math oriented, look up the carol syndrome.

    So then here’s my test. If I don’t see encouraging results in the next 5 years, I will reject women entirely and live as a bachelor. I’ve spent 20 years trying to get a girl, and the ROI has been in the deep negative. At least, I have found hope to attempt it once again. I think 25 years is enough time to find some success.

  38. Thats all wrong. Most good looking man at some point they are kind of introvert though their charmness and outlook may seem dominating and very confident. Some women got them wrong they think they are not good at their heart.

    But thats not true. Good looking guys usually have good,fresh,honest,caring, and childish heart inside their head and brain.They are very trustworthy and 1 of the great fact is that they never have intention to cheat or just to enjoy a girl like most of the bad face people have. some cute girl don’t understand this cause they are always judgemental and assumer in nature. 

    Heres the fact some women who are uneducated ,little teenage type even they are mature but not so ambitious ,passionate to do something in the world rather living in their own agenda tend to have all bad choices about future. though they are at 25 they will always pick someone their own nature type. thats true…..!! When you are studying hard, ambitious always have sort of knowing what they dont know,Busy in life career,getting a good education they think differently. people are different based on their knowledge,experience,motivation,passion,continous improvement,ambition.

    Many of you if you see it people look different based on what they are on to. if you carefully notice successful people look different compared to unsuccessful. educated people look different than those who are educated but party lover.those party lover type may not know this but no matter how much they modify their look and change the way they look,dress ,Intelligent poeple will always pick who to network with and hang out with. Thats why not everyone belong to the same group even though they want to join the club for life,success.

    I will not dwell on the topic but if you look carefully you will see musician look different.they all have certain type of face type that what u do your face,nature will be like that type. thats why dancers look different,paint artist,singers look different,models, even Phd ,Doctorate people look different,scientist look different,as authors. Thats why you will see eveyone look different what they are on to based on passion,job,what they see,what they are to ,how they see themselves in their head they will become like that.

    thats why you will never see a successful people walk with the lady who is a money wasters,party loving women type. thats why you will often see models,beautiful outllook hot women will be in relationship with particular type of men. they will hardly be in relationship with the people who are industrialist,phd,doctorate,high paid CEOs,..People tend to attract those who are their own type.  Thats why i will make sure I will be in a relationship based on not because how beautiful you are but how is your inner world,what are your motives, and what you ought to become as a person then I will propose someone and make the most valueable decision of my life.

    Thank you everyone.

  39. I’m engaged to a smart,sexy,sweet man.When I first met my fiancé I thought he was average looking but a nice guy.As we got to know each other I became really attracted to him.I think he is now the sexiest man alive.To be honest when I first met him I thought he would treat me better because he was average looking and told me I was gorgeous.At the time I had a delusional view of what the perfect guy was supposed to look and be like.I’m sure that is the reason why I was single all those years because I was comparing every day men to celebrity hunks.Now I can’t even believe I used to think my fiancé was average looking because I think he is more gorgeous then any of those celebrities.So do you think he was always hot or was it because I fell inlove with him and that made him appear more attractive?The way he looks at me and smiles makes me melt.

  40. I will say that being a very beautiful woman has it’s disadvantages. I am a professional fashion model speaking from experience. Men state that a beautiful woman would be with a man who is not as attractive as her simply for money or resources. Not true at all. My personal experience has been this: Men either a) Always want to screw me and date me simply because of my looks. b) Date me just because they want to say they are dating a model. c) If they have money they think that their money can purchase a relationship with them. It’s not nice at all. It has left me heart broken and alone many times. If I date a man who looks just as good as me the majaority of the time they are very vain shallowed and self centered. And then there are the men who are not attractive at all (the nerds and geeks everyone passes up) who have actually taken the time to treat me like a human being and get to know me. Why? These men probably have had the time to actually think about how to treat the human being they are approaching. And I am not shallow or self centered despite my looks. I am told I am very sweet and kind by many. I do not simply look for good looks and money in a partner but rather emotional stability that can withstand the years where we can grow on love. *Shrugs*

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